The 4 R’s To Discover Your Ideal Self

How well do you know yourself?

Most of the time, we are not always in our ideal selves but that is a great thing.


Because it gives us the opportunity to get better each time. This implies that there is no end to better. You’ll feel good knowing that everyday, you have this chance to influence and always improve yourself. So, no matter what condition you find yourself in, you will always find ways to improve it. That is human nature.

@Doug Lennick, CEO of Think2Perform, aims to answer two self-awareness questions during his guesting at the Management Blueprint Podcast. The first question is “why do people do what they do” and the second question is “the possibility that he or anyone could really be who he would ideally like to be” more often.

Doug shares about the Freeze Game which is a great way to develop more self-awareness. This game has four steps, each starting with R’s

R1. Recognition

Recognize what is going on with yourself.

Ask yourself these questions:

  • What am I thinking right now?
  • How am I feeling right now?
  • What am I doing?

Basically, this is an awareness of your emotions and actions. You have to keep doing this because practice makes it permanent. If you want to learn to pay attention to yourself, you have to practice it. Why?

Because the brain needs repetition. If you know yourself, you can make better decisions. If you can make better decisions, you can manage yourself better.

100% of the population has an influential role in society as found in his book “Don’t Wait for Someone Else to Fix It.” The question is: will you be a positive or negative influence? There is nothing in between.

R2. Reflect

Now that you recognize what you’re thinking and what you’re doing, the next step is to empathize with other people. The problem is, many people are not good at that. In the reflection state, you have to reflect on the big picture, on what you want to happen in the situation.

The process of reflection allows you to get into a cognitive state and calms down emotions. So, when feeling angry, scared, or excited, it hinders your ability to access your rational thoughts. The process of thinking calms your emotional center and increases the probability of you making a rational decision.

R3. Refrain

Have you watched that Winnie the Pooh episode where Winnie looks down and notices the shirt he has on and he does not like that shirt?

However, upon reflecting, he decides to change his mind so he does not have to change his shirt. That is called reframing. Framing is how you think about something. Reframing is changing how you think about something.

R4. Respond

After all that, you now need to make a decision. You have two choices: to act or to not act. Not doing something is a response just as doing something is a response.

When you go right, you don’t go left. When you go left, you don’t go right. Those decisions are critical and you need to make them wisely.


There is a never ending opportunity for you to become your better self. The four R’s of the Freeze Game—Recognition, Reflect, Refrain, and Respond—helps you understand your thoughts, process your feelings, and influence your actions.

The advantage of self-awareness is that it gives everyone the platform from which they can make better decisions. Every moment is a chance for growth, improvement, and self-realization.

Remember that self-awareness is a long and infinite game.