What does it take to become a Trusted Advisor—the kind clients turn to when they need help improving their business, their life, and making difficult decisions?

Prolific author and maestro of professional services David H. Maister suggests that technical knowledge is not enough. Clients judge professional service firms not only by technical quality but by how the service is experienced. You have to combine excellence with a supportive approach. A Trusted Advisor must do some soothing, smoothing, and handholding.

Let’s take each of these in turn.

1. Soothing

Clients often come to professionals (consultants, lawyers, accountants, etc.) in states of stress, uncertainty, or even fear about their business or personal situations. Soothing is about calming those anxieties—helping the client feel reassured that the problem can be managed and that they are in good hands. It’s about emotional support, not technical expertise.

Years ago, my investment banking firm sold a large toy retail chain in Hungary. Upon closing of the deal, my client told me that the VAT we charged on our success fees would not be deductible by him and that we should reduce our fees accordingly. This was bad news: reclassifying our success fees would reduce our income by a quarter. Even more worryingly, if this tax treatment stood, we would potentially become liable to repay success fees to clients of many other deals going back years. If that were to happen, it would bankrupt my firm.

In desperation, I turned to a friend, Tamas, who owned a leading tax advisory firm in Budapest. He did not have an immediate solution. However, he soothed my fears, saying they routinely handle such matters and could likely find a way to solve this problem. The case was not clear-cut, he said, but he was confident his team would devise an argument they could defend in court and that the tax authorities could not easily refute. As soon as I hung up the phone, my stress level dropped. I felt heard and in good hands with Tamas.

(Epilogue: My issue was solved with a tax opinion that my firm could use for all other deals retroactively and going forward.)

2. Smoothing

Professional advice often leads to friction—between partners, departments, or stakeholders. Smoothing refers to the professional’s role in reducing conflict, helping people work together, and keeping relationships intact while navigating tough decisions. It’s the lubricant in organizational dynamics.

Some years ago I advised the owner of an interior design firm, Spencer, who had a falling out with his minority partner, Tony. Spencer thought that Tony had unreasonable expectations, while Tony felt belittled by his majority business partner. I had no specific experience as a mediator, but having worked as an investment banker reconciling buyers and sellers, I offered to mediate the dispute.

It took less than two hours to thaw the ice between Spencer and Tony by asking each of them to describe what they appreciated about the other person.

(Epilogue: The relationship improved dramatically, but Tony eventually left and started his own design firm.)

3. Handholding

Big decisions and complex solutions can overwhelm clients. Handholding is the act of guiding clients step-by-step, giving them confidence, and ensuring they don’t feel abandoned after being given advice. It’s about walking with them through uncertainty until they feel capable on their own.

A couple of years ago, when facing an unexpected intellectual property challenge, I turned to an old friend in Europe who had advised us on investment banking deals and also specialized in IP matters. He had limited knowledge of U.S. IP legislation, but he helped explain how I should choose counsel and made a couple of introductions. Even though he couldn’t have expected me to use his services, he jumped on a Saturday call and gave me the confidence that my problem would be solvable.

(Epilogue: He turned out to be right.)

A final note on becoming a Trusted Advisor

If you run a professional service firm—or work for one—I highly recommend checking out David H. Maister on how to become a better Trusted Advisor and how to run a professional service firm. You’d do well to start with Managing the Professional Service Firm. It’s one of the few books I keep going back to every few years for fresh guidance and insights.